Mid Week Lament

When do I let go?
When do I fight?
The desires of my heart
are sobbing tonight.

Not sure what to do
they stand and wait
for the powerful ones
that hold their fate.

The familiar verse
sprouts in my mind
as always at times
when I feel blind.

Wait patiently for the Lord
be brave and courageous
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord

Brave? Courageous?
I'm trying my Lord
and yet, wait patiently?
I am filling with discord.

You see my life's story
You know what is next
I trust You Lord Jesus
to do what is best.

So, I will sit and wait patiently
I'll be brave and courageous too
Yes, I will wait patiently my Lord,
I will wait
for You.

Location Matters?

Is true sabbath really possible? I'm "the average" mom, wife, employee, neighbor, friend, housekeeper, chef, gardener, chauffeur, grocery getter, dish washer, care taker, child of God. Can even the average person like me achieve true sabbath?

A whole day of resting in the presence of God...can you imagine that? I dream what that would look like, but it couldn't happen in my house in my town with my family around. No, to me it would be at a monastery perched high on a mountain in central Israel or overlooking the sea in southern Turkey. Nothing but the sound of wind passing under the wings of courageous birds or whistling through lush green pine needles. Peace, senerity, quiet, God. ...Lovely.

But that is not my real life! It's a gift that I can recall memories that take me back to some of the places I've traveled overseas and wish I could return to them in a blink of an eye. Reality strikes and I find myself plummeting high speed towards this little old town I live in. Quaint, but not serene.

So, the struggle remains - living my sabbath mindful of God in all I do and seeking solitude, even if it's for the few moments I'm out watering my garden.

Sabbath rest is not all about location. It's about the attention of our heart on the One who love us more than we can comprehend. Then resting that truth.

May your sabbath day be rich with God's presense...
grace & peace on the journey ~ deAnn

sabbath

I just turned off the DVD player. My head is spinning. I love Rob Bell's NOOMA's. So I thought I'd love hearing what he had to say in his tour, "Everything is Spiritual." I was not let down. It will make you think! Be prepared for full usage of every brain particle you own.

Here's something convicting, actually, that Rob talked about. Rest. Do you rest? What does it look like, this rest you do. God rested. He created for six whole days then He took a rest - to kick back and enjoy His creation.

Sure, I rest, but it's not good rest. Weekends, for instance, should be filled with fun, doing things you like, or in our case = demoing a bathroom. Not much rest there (yesterday). Today, Sunday - I'm lazy as all get out. Yup, I've "rested." More like "wasted." I wasted the rest.

Sabbath, that day of rest, is a time to recharge and give yourself a little break for an entire day and to prepare for the week ahead. Heck, I can do that laying on the sofa clicking through hundreds of TV channels. Then I get mad at myself because I wasted the day, doing nothing. Something about my "Sabbath" doesn't feel right. Then Mr. Bell said a few words about Sabbath that really caught my attention: it's about doing something that feeds your soul. Laying on the sofa watching the TV does NOT feed my soul - it's ticks me off.

I'm going to readjust my time of rest, and attempt to live into a real Sabbath - enjoying God's creation - maybe with my camera in hand while on a hike. Getting crazy with color on a huge canvas. Choosing a childhood memory and dive right into that day then record it on paper. Read my favorite book and write about how I heard God speak to me through it. Or a period of solitude. Whatever it is, it MUST be soul feeding not soul sucking. For me, soul feeding means I'm aware of God's presence in and around me and marveling in His goodness and beauty and creativity, or even experiencing those traits in others.

The hour and 17 minutes I sat in front of the TV watching Rob Bell scribble a ton of mind stretching thoughts on a white board the size of a train car ~ yes, that, for me, was soul feeding. Ah...sweet rest.... ~ but my Sabbath is not yet over.

My plan from this day forward: to be intentional about picking one day each week and designate it as my Sabbath, doing what feeds my soul.

grace & peace on finding your day of rest...deAnn

If you want, check out: Everything is Spiritual

found

my smile was found.
laying on the ground,
it was no longer round,
and made no sound,
because it was bound,
with a large mound,
of gaffers tape.

lost

I lost my smile
It was with me this morning
and even at lunch.

Mid afternoon, I think that's
when it happened...

During that conversation
when the tears began to fall
my spirit crushed
sin exposed
dislike revealed
stupidity displayed
self worth diminished
...all a misunderstanding.

It's gone. Lost. Scared off.
I feel it lying in the shadows
I think
Fearing to come out.

But I miss you, my smile
my heart, my soul miss you too -
without you, I have no me.

Please come back, my smile
tomorrow is a new day
a fresh new day.

Return to me, my smile
my heart is nothing
without you.

Return to me, my heart
my soul is nothing
without you.

Return to me, my soul
I am nothing
without you.

If I forgive
myself
will you, my smile,
return?