warning: frustration overload

I'm in "one of those moods." Maybe you know it...grumpy is an understatement! It started to come on yesterday afternoon as I was sitting in my car for 9 hours at my son's lacrosse tournament. It was too cold to be outside the car, so sat inside. I was frustrated because I wore shorts and not pants. The weather man said it was going to be 74 degrees! I was mad at him. Dumb weather guy, what does he know? When I got home I knew I shouldn't be around people, let alone those I love like my immediate family, so I took a Tylenol PM and headed to bed at a ridiculously early time - hoping to sleep off my crankiness.

I have to admit, I slept wonderfully for oh...11 hours. "After that long night's sleep, I ought to be the life of the party today!" I said to myself.

Yeah, didn't happen. I sucked the life out of the party, actually. Stealth-like, I slipped into church trying not to make eye contact with anyone...I wasn't in the mood for small talk. "Hey good morning deAnn!" someone poor unsuspecting soul would say. "Oh shut up!" would be my sorry remark and I surely didn't want that to happen.

We got home from church and I just needed to be A-L-O-N-E. Know what I mean? Yeah, so I went up stairs to my bedroom to lay down for a few free moments but my bed was the K-2 of laundry! Aaargh! My frustration grew beyond a healthy level. "No one better even knock on my door right now or I'll ..." was running through my sick mind. The floor looked good - so I laid down in the middle of my bedroom, as looked up at the bottom of the light fixture I asked "God, what is going on with me? I'm driving me nuts." I didn't get an answer from Him. I wanted a magic wand to make me happy so my family would like me again.

I fell asleep there on my bedroom floor until my husband came in (he was a bit concerned as to why I was there)and woke me up which really ticked me off! He told me it was time to visit his family and that we were to leave in a few minutes. "More people?! Are you kidding me? I don't want to see or talk to anyone or anything right now. If you suck oxygen, back off - leave me alone!" was what I was screaming at a deafening pitch in my soul. But I got up off the floor, put on my shoes and stumbled out the car.

One summer day several years ago my friend and I went to Ocean City, MD. Sadly I was in one of these moods. I was incredibly frustrated with the ocean and all the dumb noise it makes - it NEVER STOPS! Waves crashing in on the beach, one after another "come on already!" I remember thinking I was insane for thinking that...wondering what was going on with me! And here I am today, in the same mood and asking myself that same question again.

Humans are complex beings. Not just physical beings, but emotional and spiritual beings as well. If one of these are "off" - it throws the rest off. Physically I feel great today but emotionally I'm a raging beast. The spiritual side of me is praying to God that my emotions would mellow out before someone gets hurt.

Thankfully, my spiritual side shouted loud enough and I have now mellowed out a tad. Enough to write about it and even laugh at how ridiculous I was. Boy am I glad that God is patient with me in these times...and I'm glad my husband is too! The poor oxygen sucking man. Back off!