Mass-o-nutten

Earlier this month, we had a WHOLE family vacation in Massanutten, VA. And I mean whole family. My boys, my husband and his kids, of course - my husband, his sister and her kids (her husband was in Fl for a business trip), and then my husband's parents. Seven kids and five adults packed in to a two story condo. It wasn't that bad, actually, spacial thinking...we all fit comfortably. The photo above is after a sudden and scary thunderstorm that rolled through the valley. After the storm had done it's damage the sun came out and fog began to lift from the mountain sides. The air was crisp yet damp as we entered into the evening. We had a few of those wonderfully strong afternoon thunderstorms while there for nearly a week.

The highlight of the Massanutten timeshare area is this amazing part in-door and part out-door water park. We had to take a second mortgage out on our home just to afford to enjoy this expensive playground, but it was worth it. To feel like a kid again running around and being silly with your own kids - priceless.

This side ROCKED! I thought for sure Brittany (my 18 yo step daughter) and I would loose part of our swim suit. But alas, we speedily raced to the end of the slide with our tops and bottoms intact! (Thank God for that - the world is not ready for such a scene!) Oh - yes, in the picture you have my son, Evan on the left, Devyn - my nephew next to Ev, David - my hubby then Christian - my step son. You can see who the winner was! Yay Christian!!!

Another cool attraction was the "Free Flow" - a crazy water ride that mimics the feeling of body surfing on a board. Brittany and I did NOT do this ride...for obvious reason....the guys shorts were being torn off exposing the defined line between tan and whitie-heinie. Yeah, I wasn't up for trying this thing! Here is my hubby testing out his abilities. He didn't do too bad either - but he looks pretty cute, if you ask me.

I love this photo of my son, Tyler. He's got a GREAT smile! He did really good on this thing and half way though the day, all the boys (including the one in his forties shown above Ty), were addicted to this thing. The girls, well, we rode the other water tubes = they have this one that is totally pitch black and you sit on a blow up tube - you have NO idea where you are going and it's outta this world!

It really was a nice trip and we had a lot of family bonding time. I'm sure we'll go back to Mass-o-nutten again...

deAnn

Dirty Dishes

The other day I was out for a run. When I became tired (about 3 minutes after I left my front door) I recalled what I ate the day before: LOTS. I said to myself, you know the "encouraging" self talk we do, "I must run because I ate like a piggy yesterday. So get on it and pick up the pace, woman!" That is just what I did...ran a bit faster.

As I continued to gasp for air, my mind wandered to a thoughtful space. I had just guilted myself into running! I was no longer running because it was a gorgeous crisp day or because I enjoy the feel of pavement under my feet with each step. God was once again speaking to me through something I enjoy doing and He was saying "run for the pleasure, not for guilt."

Examining more areas of my life where I take this stance, doing out of guilt instead of love, I was astounded and saddened that this ideal permeates large areas of my life. I see my in-laws because I feel guilty if I don't, INSTEAD of visiting them out of love for my husband (and them). Even doing the dishes, it's a daily task that I despise (maybe if I had a dishwasher I'd have a better attitude?), I am good at guilting myself into getting them done NOW or I'll be a horrible housekeeper. I could approach it out of love for my family - and the fact that I can not cook for them when dirty dishes are clogging up the postage sized counter space I have in my dinky kitchen.

Okay, those are only a few examples from my life. But I'll tell you, I've been more attentitive to that sneaky feeling of guilt and examining my heart and motives to see if I can do what needs to be done in love instead of guilty obligation.

The next time I'm working out (like later today), I want to approach it not out of guilt because, again last night I ate like a piggy, but out of sheer love to keep fit this body God crafted for my soul to reside in 38 years ago.

Not To Be Seen

I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of tortellini chicken soup then plopped down on the sofa next to my husband as I devoured my meal. He was watching some show on TV, looked kinda dumb but because I was eating I stared at the TV too. Then suddenly, the main actress said something that really spoke to where I am in life right now...

"We all live in hiding. In one way or another, each of us conceals pieces of ourselves from the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it. Others because they don't like being seen. And the special cases, the ones who hide because they just want someone to care enough to have someone look for them." from the USA TV show In Plain Sight

Awesome quote, huh? Deep for a cable channel.

Why does this speak to me, you ask? The idea that some people hide because they don't like being seen. That is totally me. It's freaky too. Thursday, May 29th I journaled about this exact thing...it's a theme I see in my life. I avoid being seen. I sneak into work stealth like, close my office door and turn on just one light. I ask my husband or one of my boys to water the plants on the front porch so I am not seen by passing cars (we live RIGHT on Main Street - cars just feet from my porch). If I'm meeting someone at a restaurant, I am sure to get there at least 30 minutes before scheduled time then I wait in the car until they show up so we can walk in together. I'm always behind the camera catching everyone's image but my own. There have been a few occasions when my husband has looked at me so intensely, it's as if he's peering deep into my soul. Hate that. If you can't tell, I really don't like being looked at.

Why is this? I journaled about it too. But I haven't had a Divine revelation or any downloads from Heaven...yet. This is something I'm aware of, am sitting with and lifting before God. What am I afraid of? Do I worry too much about what others think? I never thought of myself that way. Could this be what I call,"sneaky pride"?

Or maybe this is more complex and there are no simple answers... as I continued to process this on May 29th, I wrote these words in my journal, "If I am not seen, I can not be known." Maybe there lies the beginning of the answer.

to be continued...