The Simplicity of A Child

After attending Elaine's memorial service on Tuesday this week, my 13 year old son and I had some amazingly deep conversations. One evening we got talking about God. Sometimes you never know what goes on in the complex minds of our kids... He said to me, "when I was little (haha! - that is my giggle) I used to think that my shadow was God. He went with me everywhere. Sometimes I'd stand and stare at my Shadow. I would move and He would move, at the same exact time! I'd even waive to my Shadow and it was like God was waving back to me."

I never knew my son thought of God, even when he was still "little."

He continued with his ideas of God. He told me another story..."then there was a time a while back, that I pictured God as a little Man who liked to sit on me. God would hang out on my shoulders, down my arms, on my head, on my feet, back and legs. He went with me everywhere and he kept me company. We'd talk a lot. It was nice - I felt protected because He was all over me."

I sat there on the bed listening to my son's young spiritual journey with God. He let me in to the depths of his tender heart. I was on holy ground at that very moment.

My son's next experience with God is my favorite..."It's silly, but I used to think my heart was the shape of a valentine heart. I know that it's not... I learned that in science class. But I thought my heart was shaped like a valentine and it had a little door with a welcome mat below it. One day, Jesus walked up to my door with His suitcase. He looked down at the welcome mat and decided to knock. I opened the door and He moved in. He brought His TV and furniture and stuff." What an amazing visual!! Jesus moved in and made Himself "at home" in my son's heart.

The evening was getting late and well past my son's bedtime, but he had one more story for me. This is how he experiences God today...as an early teen. "Now, God is like a close friend. We'll just hang out together and I will hear Him say, 'so, do you want to talk about anything?' and I'll talk. Then I'll listen to Him talk. It's really cool." Oh my, as I type this, tears of joy fill my eyes. I felt so honored to have heard his journey and how he's responded to the Holy Spirit in his young life. I just pray that my son always has a sensitive spirit to recognize God's voice and presence and will respond to Him in ways that bring glory to our Lord. It was awesome!

Listening to my son reminded me of the ways I thought about God as a child. My journey and my son's journey are much the same. My mind was always filled with thoughts and feelings about God - even though I was not brought up in God-aware home. Nonetheless, He was with me. He knocked on my heart's door and He moved in a long time ago.

How about you? What does your spiritual journey reflect? What was the first time you experienced God in your life? How can you approach Jesus in a simple child-like way?

"The people brought children to Jesus, hoping He might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: "Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and Me. These children are at the very center of life in the Kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's Kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Then, gathering the children up in His arms, He laid His hands of blessing on them." Mark 10:13-16, The Message

Ah, if we could always walk with a child-like faith...

grace & peace ~ deAnn

When Time Is Up

Last week was tough . April 8 was the one year anniversary of my (ex) sister-in-law's death. Raw emotions still healing in our hearts. Then, in the same family, my other (ex) sister-in-law passed away on Tuesday, April 8. The same date, just one year later. Very mysterious.

Wednesday, April 9, wasn't any better. My brother called from California and shared some sad news. His mom, after fighting cancer, lost the battle and passed away that morning. (My brother and I have different moms - he's actually my half-brother).

My heart is breaking for my three brothers and for my ex-family (how do you describe that?) which I am rather close too.

It's strange to think that one moment these people were living life right next to us and the next moment, we are left with a hollow shell that resembles them. Their time was up.

As I drove to work on Tuesday after hearing of the news about my (ex) sister-in-law, I thought, "Elaine is no longer on this earth, breathing oxygen and seeing the bright spring sun calling out the tulip blossoms." It was weird to think that... I remember her crunchy laugh, good sense of humor and caring heart. She no longer lives here with us. The world should be different now. But it's not. It's the same world as it was the day before she left it. But our world, the little sphere of life we call ours, will never be the same.

I think of her husband. They were married for thirty some-odd years. They did everything together: grocery shopping, paying bills, watching TV, yard work, walking their dog, folding laundry. The most mundane parts of daily life, they did together. Not so anymore. My heart is heavy for Mike. What will he do? His life is dramatically and unwillingly changed. The void is significant. It's just he and their dog now. And a heart full of loving memories that will sustain but not relieve the pain.

Loss sucks. We live in a beautiful but painfully broken world. We love then we loose. The more we love, the more pain in the loss. Should we just not love so the pain is less? I don't believe so. We should love more because the world is so broken...it needs love and lots of it.

Jesus, it's hard living on this earth. You know it! We long to love fully but we know the risk is great. May Mike feel Your loving presence and be comforted in the coming days. Let your peace flood his heart. Protect him from himself, against deep debilitating sadness. Cause him to reach out with need and for others to reach in, to his life, sacrificially. Teach us how to journey beside those who have suffered great loss. May Your unfailing love be seen through our actions, words and compassion. Amen.