I Don't Understand

I don’t understand how You
Sit with me, the ugly me
When my doubts are high
And trust runs low

I don’t understand how You
Walk with me, unmotivated me
As I wander aimlessly about my day
questioning why was I created

I don’t understand how You
Love me, loveless little me
With my cold heart of stone
Pushing everyone far away

I don’t understand how You
Say “you are beautifully mine”
Don’t You see who I am?
The darkness in my soul?

I don’t understand how You
Forgive me, every last thing
Even as a repeat offender
You amazingly forgive
I don’t understand…

I don’t understand how You
Can use me for good when
I feel everything is awful
Useless, dangerous, empty

I don’t understand how You
The loving Creator of the universe
Cares about me, one of billions.
You know my name
You see each tear I cry
And there have been a lot lately

I don’t understand how You
Constantly reach out to me
With Your endless love
Gently handling my wounded soul
Nursing it back to health
Breathing new life into me
Giving me chance after chance

I just don’t understand…
But, I can’t thank You enough.