Forever, Unchanging

Ebb and flow. Here today - gone tomorrow.
It depends on the mood I am in
or the kind of day I've had.
Sometimes it's shy and distant.
Other times it burns hot like a wild fire-
searing, cleansing and intentional.

But, the ravaging fire turns into a
vulnerable little flame, barely shedding light.
Be careful! Don't stand in the wind!
Stand in the soft breeze, gently
fanning the flame back to health.

Not so with Him. It's not inconsistent.
No! It's always constant, just like the
waves washing on the beach.
Forever in rhythm with His heart,
beautiful song.
Never dependant. Always ready to be received
if we are courageous enough...
Warm, peaceful, forgiving and never ending.
Always transforming, covering past regrets.

It's so far beyond mere mortal expression.
We look right past His offering,
forever seeking it from broken others,
in it's flawed state, never satisfied.
Birthing temporary joy or devastating pain.

But not so with Him.

Open wide your heart
and receive His loving and tender gift.
It's forever, unchanging.

Desert Island

Desolate, dry, very little life.
Surrounded by acres of water
but no moisture makes it to land.
An island, all alone, drifting.
Drifting because it is not safely
anchored to the Earth like all other islands.
Drifting, lifeless, hot and dry.
No greenery, no waterfalls,
no mountain peaks of snow.
Only dust.
Lonely dust.
Other islands try to welcome the free floating desert, but it chooses to move away,
farther away. Becoming not just lonely,
but all alone.

Observation

I have just finished a book that took me on an unexpected adventure to places I rarely go. Even though the book is closed, every page read, I can't seem to remove myself from the places my mind wants to take me, places too mysterious for my limited human brain to comprehend. Usually in these moments, I walk away from such thoughts because I can not "figure them out" and that frustrates me. (not the walking away, but the not being able to figure them out.)

But this present mindful adventure is different. It's set me on a journey to think bigger of our God, the Creator of our Universe - filled with super nebula's, never ending black holes and forever blackness of Space. This same God created the gazillion atoms that make up the period at the end of this sentence. How does He do it? He's so mysterious. God is in all of it - the exploding star 4 million light years away AND in the electron's that rotate around the atoms nucleus of the air you just took into your lungs. It all exists because of Him and His non-stop creativity.

We live in a world of four dimensions: Height, Depth, Width, and Time. It's believed that there are up to 11 dimensions. But we mere humans can only detect and live with four of them. What are these other dimensions? Why can't our minds conceive them? What I do know is that God is in them, as He's in everything. It's mysterious.

Sometimes we think we have God figured out. We don't "need" Him anymore because we are in control of the situation. Or we think of Him as too small - like He can't handle our messy daily life with all it's challenges and deadly struggles.

On this forced mental journey this particular book has sent me on, I find myself looking at many aspects of my life differently - that's it! That is it! I spend too much darn time "looking" at my life, my world. With these grand thoughts of our Massively Creative and Wonderful God - I find myself desiring to "experience" my life, my world - with deep sensitivity to His Hand, His Work.

I would like to better understand our God and experience the wonder in it's fullest. But, I can't do that if I'm zooming too fast through the dimension of time and clogging my head with "to do" lists and strategic thoughts about how to afford things I can't afford. This darn book I just completed has me making more room for His Awe, pondering the depths of the space our planet floats along in. It's also challenging me not to look at the simple items of life, such as a paper clip, a kibble of cat food, spilled coffee, or that hard toothpaste that gets stuck on the side of the bathroom sink, as dumb or annoying that eventually leads me to a task. But, instead, for a moment I consider the microscopic atomic particles that make up these items, so small our eyes can not see, and remember that God also created them.

I love thinking abstract thoughts of our God. He's not simple - He Himself is abstract and beyond our capability to understand. He is multidimensional, not flat and boring. He is colorful and creative, that's proved by the natural beauty that speckles our breathtaking Earth. God is not too small to handle my "issues" - He simply asks "can I please have them? I want to fill your soul with deep shalom. I Am your God."

Time-aholic

It's ironic. The small time keeper on our wrists is called a "watch." Not a wrist clock. But a wrist watch. Maybe it's because we spend so much time watching it as it directs our every waking moment. We spend time watching our wrist watch.

It's July. Wasn't it just Christmas? Time. It is flying past like there is a huge black hole sucking the days away from me. It's scary, actually. I'm 37 years old. What is 37 "years" to God? Does he have a wrist watch and says "oh, it's time for a gentle rain storm" or "Gosh, I'm late in answering that prayer!" Yeah, I doubt it.

God's "beyondness" is unmistakable. Compared to Him, we are so small. His life is eternal, no beginning or end. Ours is fleeting, so brief in time.

Yet in our limitations, we can know Him. He has scattered evidence of His magnificence throughout the universe, in the heights of the heavens and the invisible depths of the atom.

I find that when I ponder the vastness of our universe and the beauty that it holds or the microscopic world of protons and electrons, the idea of "time" as we humans know it, leaves my mind for a brief moment. And then I feel relief. Until the alarm beeps on my Palm Pilot reminding me of an appointment I must attend. Time. We are never free from it's pull, it's constraints. We say we want to be closer to Jesus, but we have a hard time "finding time" to spend with Him. How do you find time? Like it's lost or something. No, for me, I waist time.

I need to be a better steward of my days. Each of us oxygen sucking pile of skin and bones is given a limited amount of life on this planet. How are we living it? And we try to so hard to fight the affects of time; cover the grey hair, apply special lotions and emollients to fill in the gaping crevices on our face, eat Centrum Silver to chemically keep our bodies feeling as young as possible, buy a sports car or seek a relationship with a much younger person in order to "feel" young. We humans are down right crazy!

We spend so much time watching our watches, attempting to find time, or discovering ways to run away from the affects of time. This really has me thinking about how I fill up my each and every day, week after week, month after month, year after year. How much of it is leaving a positive imprint on those around me? How much of it is dedicated to deepening a relationship with the Eternal One who knows no time? We are but a mere blip on the eternal "time line." The way I live my life on earth will have an affect on heaven's eternity. That is a deep thought, one that I must think long and hard about...

I'll end with His words from Ecclesiastes 3:11

"God has made everything beautiful for it's own time, He as planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."

Dear God, I long to live fully into the days you've given me. I don't want to make excuses. Help me to think outside the limitations of the human timeline and to be more aware of Your Eternal presence as I move about on this planet. You will call me out of the realm of time one day and ask me to enter your eternity. But until that day comes, Lord, I desire to love more fully, to approach my use of time wisely and to experience the world you created with wonder and awe. The God who Was, who Is and who will always Be. Amen.

Little Word~Big Meaning

Seems that when I travel far distances I come home with a word or phrase that runs through my mind like a news ticker on the bottom the CNN television screen. Repeating over and over just as a tragedy is covered by the media and you just can't seem to get away from it.

My two weeks in California with my family was a great time of connection, sharing and exploration. While there I had some big questions for God regarding an area of my life which I feel He implanted me with a holy passion. He was very quiet.

Then I came home. I kept thinking of the questions I was asking God while in California and wondering what to think of His silence. Then a word, small at first, quiet, unobtrusive, was lingering in the shadows of my mind. I began to notice it's growing presence. Finally I stopped, acknowledged it and asked God if this was from Him...The powerful word: reThink.

God what do you mean? reThink what exactly? I sat with this word for a few days as it held me hostage. The ticker tape scrolling along endlessly: reThink ~ reThink ~ reThink.

David and I loved visiting my family and fell in love with the beauty of the northern California coastline. He hopes we can make it out there once a year. We could do that, if we would reThink the way we spend money.

I have some friends I rarely get to spend time with. I miss them, their laughter and the wisdom they infuse into me. I wish I had more time to hang out. We could if I would reThink how I use my limited time.

High cholesterol runs deep in my paternal family line. So it was no surprise when my doctor told me that mine was well over 220. Thankfully my good cholesterol is so high that it off sets the badness of my bad cholesterol. But, my doctor said, I must keep eating smart and continue regular exercise in order to keep the ratios in the "good" zone. So, I need to reThink my eating and activity patterns. (They've gotten a little sloppy since my vacation.)

Back to these big questions I had for God regarding this holy passion He's set into my heart. Yup, the direction I was moving with it, well I feel He's suggesting I reThink that too. The passion is, in the context of community, help people discover the creativity God planted in every person, encourage development of this Divine gift and cheer them on as they meet God in a new dimension while they move out into the world with what they create. I feel God say don't steer this passion away from the church. But instead, reThink it. Direct this passion towards and into the church. And just the other day, He's givien me opportunities to implement this vision at Living Word!

reThink. Seven perfectly lined up letters with much power to change the world. At least, my little world. And God speaks again. One tiny word with so much meaning. reThink. So now when I have thoughts about anything, I stop and think again. Being more aware of His guidance I plan to move with Him instead of moving on my own.

What would God be asking you to reThink? Or is there a different word that keeps bouncing around the hallows of your mind? A word that maybe should have your attention...

Mr. Riggins & God

I moved a lot as a child. I mean a lot. For instance, between the day I was born and the day I graduated High School my family lived in 37 different houses. I went to countless elementary schools and finally four high schools. No, my dad was not in the military. No, my family was not in the witness protection program. For whatever reason, which remains a mystery to me today, we moved a lot.

I have vivid memories of a particular house that was located on the corner of Glenwood Drive and a busy California state highway. I remember this house well because we suffered a brush fire behind and on the side of our house one hot dry summer. As a young girl, being the oldest of 6 kids and in charge of them while my parents worked, seeing red flashing movement through my baby brothers race car bedroom curtains scared me to death. (We all got out of the house safely and had no damage either.) I also remember the hordes of neighborhood kids that congregated on our little cement front porch. This was the cool place to hang out. Seriously, it was cool. It was always shaded and in the 100+ degree days, there was no other porch you'd want to sit on.

Down the street about 6 houses and on the same side as our house there lived a tall old man with rich black hair. I'm sure he must have used Grecian Formula. This man seemed really old to me! (However, I wonder if he wasn't my age now.). Mr. Riggins. I can't remember if he had a wife or kids. But he was a nice old guy who always invited me and the other neighborhood hoodlums - um, I mean kids, over for cold lemonade and cookies. This was his "hook" to keep us there while he read from a dusty old book...something called The Bible.

All the kids thought Mr. Riggins was a nerd but they really liked the lemonade on those hot California days. They would be nice to him while we were in his house then as soon as his door would shut behind us, they would call him names and say mean things about his "religion." I played along so my friends didn't think I was a nerd too.

Most of the time the things that Mr. Riggins read from the Bible seemed really interesting to me and I actually wanted to ask questions. But that would be signing my death certificate if my friends caught wind of this. So, I began to sneak down to the Riggins' house without my friends so that I could have total freedom to pick this man's mind and learn more about God. Mr. Riggins became a great teacher to me and naturally I was devastated when I overheard my parents talking in our living room about beginning the search for a new home. I told Mr. Riggins of our pending move - he saw how upset I was and asked me if I've ever prayed. I hadn't really other than praying I'd find a brand new portable cassette player/recorder under the Christmas tree that year. Mr. Riggins explained that Jesus really wanted me to talk with Him through prayer...to tell him that I was upset, sad and confused. "God why do we have to move all the time? I feel like luggage. Why unpack? Making friends and then leaving them hurts so much!" Mr. Riggins explained to me how to talk with God. He also showed me the Lord's Prayer in the Bible and I loved that! I worked so hard to memorize it and there would never be a night that I didn't say that prayer before my eyes fell to slumber.

The day came. The big move. Lots of family over to help load up every pick-up truck and van within a 10 mile radius. Off to a new house, new school, new friends...again. Before we said our final good bye to Glenwood Drive I asked my mom if she could drive me down to Mr. Riggins house so I could say good bye to him too. As I got out of our rusty little car and sadly approached his front door I was surprised when he opened it before I even had time to knock. In his hands were a portable bottle filled with his famous lemonade and a small container of cookies. He smiled at me and I smiled back, his kindness was overwhelming, even to a young girl. I told him that I'd miss our times talking about the Bible and all it's characters, especially God and His son, Jesus. Just then, from no where, he suddenly had a Bible in his hand. Slowly and surely he held it out in front of me and said, "DeAnn, keep asking questions, take this Bible and continue to read the story, the greatest story ever told." My very own Bible? I couldn't believe it! Wow and it's from Mr. Riggins - my great teacher. I didn't know what to say. I can only hope that I said thank you.

So, off to a new house, new school, new neighborhood - but this time with my own Bible and with the know-how on praying. God was tracking with me even when I was a little girl. He put Mr. Riggins on Glenwood Drive knowing that my parents would move our family there. God wanted me to meet Mr. Riggins. And through my times with him, I met God.

I never saw Mr. Riggins after that day. But I've thought of him thousands of times over the years. And I think he'd be happy to know that God used him significantly to reveal Himself to me. And that I still have the Bible he gave me, my very first Bible.

Thinking is Dangerous

I've been thinking...can a person be both Lazy and a Super Achiever at the same time?

Let's define "lazy" ~ unwilling to do any work or make an effort. Encarta Dictionary of North America.

Now let's define "achiever" (and we'll just add super ourselves) ~ somebody who is successful and motivated to go on being successful. Encarta Dictionary of North America.

These words seem to be polar opposites. How can you be both? It's funny, I sometimes feel that I am both. For example, I become passionate about something and I move forward full force. Then after a while I get tired, loose interest or something then become what I feel is lazy. This is a character trait that drives me mad. I'll have a whole day to myself and dream up all kinds of cool things I want to do (run, paint, write, read) then reality hits - I see the pile of dishes in my sink and the basket filled with dirty clothes and carpets that need to be vacuumed. So, I choose to do the chores instead of doing the things I wanted to do - being creative.

Then I get bummed and with that comes the sensation of laziness. It's such a strange cycle. Life happens and we must be there to tidy up. But I am still searching for the balance between my normal duties as a mom/wife and allowing the creative artist in me to emerge and develop.

So, I'm going to conduct an experiment - no more housework for me! I'll swing the pendulum far to the other direction and see how that works. I will commit to acknowledge my creativity and instead of folding laundry I'll create. And I'm not talking about creating a nicely stacked pile of folded clothes. I've said NO to my creative right brain long enough. Laziness will no longer be an excuse. I am going for a run right after I the grocery store...